{"id":5194,"date":"2018-08-13T20:31:19","date_gmt":"2018-08-13T17:31:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/if-there-is-an-alcoholic-in-the-family\/"},"modified":"2024-11-10T22:58:42","modified_gmt":"2024-11-10T19:58:42","slug":"if-there-is-an-alcoholic-in-the-family","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/if-there-is-an-alcoholic-in-the-family\/","title":{"rendered":"If there is an alcoholic in the family"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/1308487.portu.web.hosting-test.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/IMG_5350.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-455\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n<p>In families where one person suffers from alcohol addiction, there is constant psychological tension, strained relationships, stress, as a result of which codependency may arise. We will not go into precise medical definitions, but will explain this phenomenon using an example: an alcoholic has an addiction to alcoholic beverages, while his family members depend on him.   <\/p>\n\n<p>The most susceptible to codependency are spouses and children. Their desire to control the addict&#8217;s lifestyle, the desire to constantly save him can sometimes reach fanaticism so much that the person no longer leaves mental strength for himself and his life. It is impossible to help the addict with such behavior, rather the situation will only worsen, and the motivation for treatment will become even lower.  <\/p>\n\n<p>Normal concern for loved ones has its own logic, unlike codependency. The actions of spouses are pathological, they are emotionally exhausted, and sometimes they act very stupidly. Codependents, like the alcoholic himself, do not admit that they have a problem, they deceive themselves and the whole family, and mislead everyone around them, create an illusion. Very often, such tension and psychological state can lead to common physical illnesses.   <\/p>\n\n<p>Since adequate development is disrupted in the process of codependency, all family functions (spiritual, material, educational, sexual) come to naught. In such a family, the main role is given to alcohol. It is characteristic that over time, all family members get used to and adapt to the conditions. After the family adapts, the chances that the situation will change are significantly reduced.   <\/p>\n\n<p><strong>What happens inside such a family:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>At the first stage, all family members deny that there are any problems.<\/li><li>At the second stage, attempts to get rid of the problem will begin to appear, the family will try to hide their lives from prying eyes, all relatives will stop communicating with friends and making contact.<\/li><li>At the third stage, chaos begins both in the consciousness of each family member and in relationships, and all life is left to take its own course.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n<p>The third stage may be characterized by pathetic attempts to correct the situation, stop or help the relationship, all family members will try to adapt the addict in society. Perhaps some families will make attempts to <a href=\"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/lechenie-alkogolizma\/\">treat alcohol addiction<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/reabilitacija-alkozavisimyh\/\">restore the consequences<\/a> . If this does not happen, then the healthy spouse will take on all the functions and tasks of the patient, after which he will try to influence and put pressure on him.  <\/p>\n\n<p><strong>The main differences of codependency:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Agreement on how much and how often alcohol is consumed.<\/li><li>Control from a spouse, children or parents becomes unbearably intrusive.<\/li><li>All thoughts of a codependent are completely focused on the fact that one of the family members suffers from addiction.<\/li><li>Attempts are made to protect the patient.<\/li><li>The wife develops a strong sense of fortitude and tolerance, while the husband takes all the attacks of his conscience upon himself.<\/li><li>Over time, the addict&#8217;s behavior becomes habitual.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n<p><strong>Children in codependent families<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>The conditions for the development of children in such a family are not the most favorable, so they may experience disorders and deviations:<\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The child can be placed in the center of attention. If this is the eldest child, then he will go headlong into helping all the other children and mother, the emotional state of all children is suppressed. After thirty years, all such children themselves can become addicted.  <\/li><li>On the other hand, the child may be completely forgotten and become \u201clost\u201d, since all attention will be redirected to the sick person.<\/li><li>If a parent starts to take it out on a child, he will look for support on the street, and perhaps get involved with a bad crowd.<\/li><li>The state of emotional depression can be hidden behind the outward appearance of a cheerful child. Personal and emotional maturation in this case will be significantly reduced. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n<p><strong>The main rules for those who have an alcoholic in the family:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The disease should not be hidden or be ashamed of. It is necessary to accept this fact and try to live with it. <\/li><li>An alcoholic is not a child. You don&#8217;t need to over-protect him or literally &#8220;wipe away his drool.&#8221; <\/li><li>Reading sermons will not have any effect. The patient already knows what awaits him in the future. <\/li><li>If the patient makes promises, do not take them seriously and do not reproach them if they are not fulfilled. It is best to ignore any promises. <\/li><li>Don&#8217;t try to achieve any results by blackmail.<\/li><li>Giving up alcohol won&#8217;t help the problem either.<\/li><li>Don&#8217;t drink with a sick person! Then there will be one more sick person in the family. <\/li><li>Do not perform the patient&#8217;s functions and tasks for him.<\/li><li>Don&#8217;t cover for the addict at work, in front of friends and relatives. Don&#8217;t cover his debts, otherwise the turning point that should lead to treatment will never happen. <\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In families where one person suffers from alcohol addiction, there is constant psychological tension, strained relationships, stress, as a result of which codependency may arise. We will not go into precise medical definitions, but will explain this phenomenon using an example: an alcoholic has an addiction to alcoholic beverages, while his family members depend on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5194","page","type-page","status-publish"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5194"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5194"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5196,"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5194\/revisions\/5196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/danko.od.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}